Have you ever been talking to a friend about a guy and rated them on scale of 1 to 10? I’m sure you have. Even though we say we are not all about looks, we do find ourselves occasionally rating a guy’s hot factor. It’s human nature right? It’s something we think about in our heads or chat about with our girlfriends. And we all know that guys definitely do it. As we walk down the street, into a bar, or post our pictures on dating sites, we know that guys are visually picturing us in ways we don’t even want to know about! Usually I can spot a guy who is looking for a pin up model, but this time he slipped right by and I ended up on a date with a real winner.
This 40 something year old guy sends me a message online and we hit it off right away. He’s pretty cute, some grey hairs which only make him look distinguished. We text back and forth a bit and agree to meet for drinks. Everything seems normal and I am excited to meet him. On my way to the bar I get a call from my handsome older man. At the time I was only about 35 so a guy in his 40’s was older to me! We start talking and he said he was a little nervous about meeting me. Awww how sweet! Then he continues, “So I just want to know before this date, like how hot are you?” I assumed he was just being funny, so I laughed and said he was funny. He did….NOT…-laugh. He continued in a serious tone, “No I mean like can you rate yourself for me, on scale of 1 to 10, how hot are you?” Ok whaaaaat? Is he actually being serious?! What kind of guy asks a girl that question upfront? Certainly not my distinguished gentleman. Ugh! From sweet to sleazy faster than it takes to swipe left. Now I am feeling a bit unnerved on the phone, but still feel like he must be just joking, so I said, “I don’t know, I guess I’d give myself an 8.” He continues his questioning, “Ok an 8, so does that mean you turn heads? Like when you walk into a place do guys turn and check you out.” OMG, I can’t believe I am still talking to this guy. I said, “Why do you want to know? You will see for yourself in about 10 minutes when I get to the bar!” He replied, “I just don’t want to waste my time on these dates if a girl is not hot.” Um seriously, this is how you get girls??
Yes ladies this conversation actually happened and I still showed up for the date. I think I knocked sensible Pepper over the head that night. Honestly, part of me was in disbelief that he was actually asking me these things and the other part of me wanted to show up so I could flaunt my hotness in his face and leave him in the dust. So we hang up the phone and I drove to the date, putting on a little extra lipstick. When I got out of the car, I saw him walk over to me and look me up and down from toes to the top of my head. Then he nods in approval. Really??? This is your game plan for dates? He says, “You definitely look good, I’d give you a 10.” Gee thanks, I’m swooning over you now. Kidding! I wanted to punch the guy, and hand him a bottle of hair dye. Yeah he was no Hugh Jackman. He looked a lot older for his age, his profile pics were definitely several years old. About a 5 on my rating scale. We walked into the bar and he answered a phone call and proceeded to talk on the phone for 10 minutes at the bar. A 5, and a completely rude, arrogant, pig. Hmm, wonder why he’s still single?!
After he ended his phone call, he spent another 10 minutes flirting with the bartender, even touching her hand. Walk out Pepper!! In fact, dump your drink in his lap and storm out! We managed some conversation where he talked about himself to death then he walked me to my car and asked me for a second date, because and I quote, “you really look good.” Um thanks Gramps, but I’m looking for a 10. I did not go out with him again. I wish I could say that I gave him a piece of my mind, but this experience was very early on in my online dating quest to find my prince and my princess like manners were still intact. It’s guys like these that make girls so insecure about themselves and I use this story as an example to my teenage daughters.
Dating Lesson #8 If a guy asks you to rate yourself, always give yourself a 10 and then tell him 10’s don’t date pigs so take your old grey sausage elsewhere! You deserve a guy who calls you beautiful not hot.