Just reading that title I’m sure you have so many thoughts going through your head as to what I could be talking about, and I can almost bet you didn’t come up with this!!
I had been emailing this guy for about a week. He was adorable in the pics, could tell he was real a family man. He had five kids. Yeah….I said FIVE! Dating Clue #1 but we know by know that I’m immune to those!! I have 3 kiddos of my own so who I am to talk. I imagine many guys run screaming when they hear that. Get out now, single mom with 3 kids….screams needy. Me needy? Noooooo! I’m just over here searching like crazy for my prince to come rescue me from this mountain of laundry. Haha!
This date with my prince riding in on a barstool took place at a pretty nice restaurant. Not a chain, it had good wine list, nice atmosphere and awesome food! I’m always looking for a nice bar to have this awkward first meeting/date with a virtual stranger. Atmosphere can really help this situation, if anything it provides a nice segway for conversation. This restaurant is perfect, one of my top 3 places. I imagine the waitress thinks I’m a little strange coming back every week with different guys. It’s a regular variety show lol. A tip for making these dates less stressful is to pick a nice restaurant your familiar with and have a couple of good “date outfits.” Different guy, same place, same outfit.! Easy peasy! You never have to stress about what to wear or where to go.
So my prince and I meet outside the restaurant and I can only give you one word to describe him. TINY! Not just short, but tiny and petite. I know I shouldn’t be judging, but I’m just more attracted to big, burly men. I can’t help it, if they are smaller than me, I just feel weird! Well, more like self conscious about my fat rolls squishing him! I tried to keep an open mind because he could be another Christian Grey. (see Chipmunk post) We head to the bar and grab two seats. I just need to make it clear that this is more of a fancy bar, not your typical wings and beer sports bar. As we are sitting there, I’m trying to see past the short guy on the outside but his hands are so tiny. I mean little skinny fingers. Like my pinky finger looks like a sausage next to his. I have a thing about hands. A man HAS to have nice hands, Am I right ladies? So he’s short and skinny and has tiny ballet girl hands…but he’s got five kids so he must have testosterone in there somewhere!!
Ok by now you must be wondering about that barstool…lets get to that! We are sitting there on these little barstools, talking in this nice fancy bar when all of a sudden he pulls up one knee to his chest so his foot is up on the seat and he’s holding his leg. Weird…but ok not so bad considering he is very animated while he’s talking. Then the other leg comes up. And yes ladies, he is now sitting with both feet on the barstool hugging both knees to his chest! Take a moment and picture it. Fancy bar, business men and women having cocktails, little guy hugging his knees on a barstool. Yeah, no testosterone to be found now! He continued to sit like that deep in conversation with me, and I am trying to listen but all I want to do is bust out laughing.
Now I am all for flexible and bendy but I soooo wanted to say “Miss Pepper says it’s not time to sit criss-cross applesauce my little prince. Seriously, it was the weirdest thing talking to a grown man in a bar who’s hugging both his knees on a barstool!!! Maybe that’s how he got five kids, I don’t know…..but suffice it to say Mr. Knee Hugger was not my Prince Charming.
Overall it was a funny, interesting time. He was cute, very nice and we had great conversation. Just not the kind of chemistry and attraction I’m looking for.
Lesson # 4 in online dating: If you want to see how flexible a guy is, ask him to sit criss-cross on a bar stool!