The title alone is enough to say “Run Pepper, Run!”, but I was excited about this date, could this be the Prince I have been searching for? We connected online through Match.com. He seemed really nice and was slightly older and mature. This was great compared to the immature boys I had been dating lately. Seriously my online profile says if you drink like your 21 don’t call me, yet somehow they land on my path! Anyway this older guy’s pics were attractive, not gorgeous but he had a clean cut, gentleman look. He has what I like to call the “go either way pics.” If you are an online dater you know what this means. They could be better in person, they could be worse, and then there’s always..they could be a vampire! Haha. Online dating is a challenge, you just never know what you are walking into. I try not to go just on looks but your basically going off a few pictures and some generic interests. And let’s face it, guys have NO CLUE how to post pics of themselves. I don’t want to see your boat or your motorcycle or your big truck or even the pretty sunset. These things are great, but I’m not trying to date them. For the love of all things holy, guys need to just post a few smiling pictures and preferably not with 17 other people so we don’t have to compare pics and decipher which one is you!
Ok ladies, so it is date day with my Prince Dracula!!! We met at a cute Thai place down the street! Yay he already scored points for driving to my town. I pulled up in my car and he’s sitting on a bench, leaning over, head down, looking at his phone. “Mmm,” I say to myself, “He looks GOOOOD!” He had a very manly posture, nice profile, & decent body. Oooh I was excited to get out of the car! He looked up as I exited my car and walked towards me. The excitement was building, he was still looking pretty cute! Again, no matter how promising the pics are online, they are just pics. You never know how a person is going to be in the flesh. Mannerisms are EVERYTHING! Am I right ladies? The way a guy moves, walks, talks, and is just present is what makes are heart swoon. So I am ready to meet my prince…And….Then….He… SMILED! Out popped two large fang teeth! And no not in a Edward Collins “Twilight” kind of way! I immediately wanted to jump back in my car and peel out of there! Remembering my manners I said hello and shook his hand. Then he moved those big fangs up and down as he said, “Hello nice to meet you,” and I suddenly thought, is it raining?? Oh no, that was spit! Aaaahh Help! I wanted to flee, but first meetings are awkward enough and I was somehow led into the restaurant. As we ordered food I tried to come up with an escape plan but dang it, I had left my wooden stakes at home. He continued to talk and spray and I tried to nonchalantly cover my food. I called the waitress over and ordered a plate of garlic. Haha kidding! But the thought crossed my mind. He really was one of the sweetest guys I went out with and maybe I could get past the fangs but I prefer to eat spit free meals thanks.
Lesson #1: Online dating is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your going to bite into…..or if they are gonna bite you! It’s a good idea to always have an escape plan set up. Let a friend know where you will be, meet in a public place. Have a code word with a friend so she can text you an out if you send an SOS!